Unpopular opinion: I can't fucking wait for the new Touareg.

"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer)
02/19/2018 at 01:11 • Filed to: MY FAVORITE VW PRODUCT IS THE BROWN GOLF SPORTWAGON

Back when my dad was thinking about buying a car so that I could keep the old Jeep his mind was already made up: get that CPO Grand Cherokee Summit. It was the right color, the right interior, the right engine, and the right price. But I insisted that he should look at that VW hybrid, but he never did.

He didn’t care that the Touareg was a cut price Cayenne, or that the Audi engine with a supercharger and an electric motor would do wonders for his abysmal fuel economy. To me the Touareg was the best kind of parts bin car: the one that gave you all the performance and none of the badge. Think about it this way:

In 2003 the VW Beetle shared a dealer with the W8 Passat and the Piech Touareg; the gap between the cheapest car they sold and the most expensive car they sold was so immense that any promise of brand snobbery would have to be abandoned, so those looking for brand snobbery went to Porsche. The Touareg then was reserved for the people that wouldn’t mind sitting next to a cab driver in the service department, you know, reasonable people whose judgements of a person did not emerge from their social status.

But to missquote RCR, If you’re running around in a 2004 Cayenne, your car has fallen down the ladder to venue promoter.

But a Touareg? no. You could daily a 2004 Touareg with all the original status it came with, because it’s status didn’t come from such a fragile idea as brand snobbery is. Because to be a brand snob you have to constantly buy a new car, just on and on and on, every refresh and every new gen of the Cayenne would’ve seen your driveway and that is expensive and unsustainable.

Here comes the genius of the hybrid Touareg: it is as fast, as capable and as dynamically competent as a Cayenne, but its insides are filled with stoic luxuries, not gaudy luxuries. Its well equipped: its as luxurious as that Summit jeep, but it’s not chrome laden or filled with this Macho-Man idea that jeep wants to throw around. It is a better car in my humble perspective.

So, this 2019 Touareg, if you’re as good as my preconceptions about you tell me you are, I will respect you. I don’t ever see myself buying an SUV but if I ever need an SUV, and I have the money for a Touareg.

I will buy one.

DISCUSSION (12)

whatuptkhere > Spanfeller is a twat
02/19/2018 at 01:31

Excellent piece.

Question - is it genuinely as fast as a Cayenne? I mean, obviously the Cayenne Turbos or S or whatever will be quicker, but is the Touareg genuinely quick?

What kind of engineer do you aspire to be?

Spanfeller is a twat > whatuptkhere
02/19/2018 at 01:50

Only the hybrid I suppose. Because its literally the same car.

The Touareg hybrid and the Cayenne S hybrid ran on the PL72 platform, equipped with the same engine and transmission should render the performance similar if not identical. The only real sizeable difference between that generation Touareg and that generation Cayenne was that the Cayenne had final assembly in Leipzig, not Bratislava.

Fun stuff, here in Mexico you could get the PL72 Touareg with three different v6 engines (a petrol VR6, a diesel TDI, and a hybrid Audi rig) and two v8s ( a NA petrol and a TDI diesel). Which must be a load of fun for the techs that have to stock on parts for 5 different engines for such a niche car!

Then the Cayenne S E hybrid came along with a 80HP bump on the Cayenne S hybrid and Touareg Hybrid respectably, then the Cayenne did become faster.

However, now VWAG runs 4 SUVs on the PL73 plataform: the Touareg, the Q7, the Cayenne, and the Bentayga. Each with a 48 volt system for many auxiliary systems and hybridization capabilities. If VW wanted to remake the r50 Touareg, they could simply put a larger Audi or Porsche engine (if they’re really insane, a Bentley engine) but such tomfoolery must’ve been let out the door with Piech himself and the remaining crazy team on the wake of Dieselgate.

I want to graduate as a mechanical engineer, but I am thinking about doing a double major and doing civil engineering as well.

Discerning > Spanfeller is a twat
02/19/2018 at 09:40

Why not just get a Q7? The Q7 and Touareg will cost essentially the same but the Q7 is more practical (and better looking IMO).

I may be biased though. I like how the Q7 looks like a wagon and I like the styling language. Unfortunately, my fiance dislikes it for the same reasons.

Spanfeller is a twat > Discerning
02/19/2018 at 09:56

Back when the decision was taken, the Q7 still ran with the PL71 plataform and did not have a hybrid here.

I love its interior, but I can’t say the same of the exterior

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Spanfeller is a twat
02/19/2018 at 10:34

I’m very interested in the existing hybrid with the supercharged V6, but I think I’d only be willing to take the plunge if it came with a full warranty.

Spanfeller is a twat > Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs
02/19/2018 at 10:50

Knock knock?

Who’s there?

Plastic timing chain tensioners!

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Spanfeller is a twat
02/19/2018 at 11:28

Hmm, that sounds like a not-good thing. I just love the way they look though, that generation of Touareg.

Discerning > Spanfeller is a twat
02/19/2018 at 11:52

The exterior is great! I like that it looks like a beefy wagon instead of a bolbous SUV.

With the TDI hybrid you have a good amount of go, an exceptional amount of torque, and some serious range. Even the all electric range is enough for some commutes.

I’m getting more excited about plug in hybrids. My next car might be the CT6 hybrid based on what I’ve read. Haven’t driven one yet

Michael Woyahn > Spanfeller is a twat
02/19/2018 at 12:10

I’ve loved the Touareg pretty much since the first gen got refreshed in 2007. I absolutely love the second gen too for all the same reasons you described. But damn does their reliability scare me haha! I’d be really tempted to get a second gen with a warranty, but I’m very partial to Toyota since my RX330 has 234,000 miles on it now. Don’t know how well a Touareg would hold up to that many miles. Still, I’m so sad the next gen isn’t coming to the US!

E92M3 > Spanfeller is a twat
02/19/2018 at 12:48

If it’s as good as the Q7, it should do well.

dsgolson > Spanfeller is a twat
02/19/2018 at 13:39

Sadly the new Touareg won’t be sold in the US

Spanfeller is a twat > Discerning
02/19/2018 at 14:16

The etron is quite cool, but it’s new to the PL73 q7.